Getting Your Hands Dirty

"I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain."
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Getting Your Hands Dirty is an Adventure located in the European Dead Zone.

Premise

"Seize upon the Taken invasion of the EDZ, direct their assault against the Red Legion, and end it before it gets out of control."

Story Details

• Go to Enemy Territory.
• "Research" the Taken.
• Destroy Blights.

Transcript

• Asher Mir: Ah, assistant! You are just in time to join my Dimensional Anomaly Research Group!
• Failsafe: Captain, hello! Asher Mir says that I will provide the computational support, and you will provide the brute force! He is very rude.
• Asher: Let us begin with barbaric close combat against the Taken. It is a scientifically sound proposition and is in no way suspicious.
• Ghost: This much Taken radiation can't be healthy.
• Asher: Nonsense! there is no continuing danger from exposure to Taken radiation.
• Failsafe: Incorrect, Asher Mir. I will now list all fourteen permanent debilitating effects from long-term contact with extradimensional matter.
• Asher: No need for that. Assistant, continue the experiment. Make your way to the Red Legion's "research" facility.
• Ghost: We're almost to the research base. So we just... walk around. But in a Taken-y way.
• Failsafe: The Taken will think you're one of them, and flood into the European Dead Zone! Asher Mir said it would be like a plague. And a scourge!
• Asher: That outcome is only guaranteed if we do not destroy the blights. Do not overload the test subject with extraneous data!
• Ghost: "Test subject"?

or, if another Guardian has already performed the experiment:

• Ghost: Looks like someone else made the same calculations as Asher. Let's go help them out!
• Ghost: Something feels different. I think it's working.
• Failsafe: (Apathetic, sing-song voice) They're gonna get Taken...
• Asher: Excellent!
• Failsafe: He means that you have performed the correct actions. The Taken will now flood into the surrounding area like a scourge.
• Asher: And therefore, the experiment has progressed. Destroy the blights, immediately!
• Ghost: That did it. All the blights are gone.
• Failsafe: Except for the ones all across the solar system that will continue to happen for eternity, or at least until the sun burns out.
• Asher: That has not been scientifically proven. But, otherwise, well done, research group. The Red League has shown a measurable vulnerability to concentrated entropy. Definitely worthy of further study.