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Lore:Confessions: Difference between revisions
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==Entry VIII== | ==Entry VIII== | ||
By the mind of Match, priest of the chalice. Upon the Leviathan, where my temple now stands. Today I fill the Y-goblet with praise for my Emperor, Calus, once and future sovereign, so that my ancestors may know his generosity. | |||
I told him. | |||
He has decided where he will make everything ready for death. The Leviathan's course is set for a far system, where the [[Traveler]] awaits. His [[Shadows of Calus|Shadows]] are already on their way to kill Ghaul, or die in the attempt. How could I betray him, in this time of endings, by keeping a secret he has asked to share? | |||
I went to him as he bathed in his royal pool, for his proxies are, of course, as exquisitely sensual as his old form. I shed my garments, there being no taboo between us than between two animals, and sat beside him in the glow of his comfort. | |||
"Your Majesty," I said, "I kept a secret from you." | |||
I explained how I worshipped my ancestors and the sacred chalice that cupped their spirits. I admitted that I had put these beliefs before him in my heart. He listened as I told him how the ancient God-Thoughts of my people, the operant overlords who dominated our prehistory by sheer mental preparation, had exterminated my faith for daring to see a spark of the divine in every common person. | |||
"Match," he said, "you have committed a crime, and I will pass my sentence shortly. But first, let me ask you something. Do you think I made the right choice with the Clipse?" | |||
"No," I admitted. | |||
"Because I ended so many lives?" | |||
"Yes, your Majesty." | |||
"But knowing that they would soon end anyway, and that by killing most could allow a small few to live in happiness rather than in strife... did I not chose the greatest possible good?" | |||
"I suppose, your Majesty, that my faith makes me see the shared suffering of the Clipse as... more fair than the survival of a happy few. If I were one of the Clipse, I would want a fair chance. Not judgement from on high." | |||
He nodded in compassion. "I know. I once tried to be fair too, Match. An empire of excess for every citizen, no matter their class or species of birth. It is good for a ruler to raise the standard by which his subjects live. But what if that ruler has found proof, absolute proof, that existence is a zero-sum game? There is not enough time or energy to give everyone a fair life? Knowing that, mustn't we privilege a chose few?" | |||
I did not know and I admitted it. | |||
"That's al right. I don't ask certainty." He shifted himself, sending waves across the pool. "For a long time after the coup, I stared out into the infinite universe, and I saw... meaninglessness. In a universe that goes on forever, there must be an infinity of Caluses, all staring at the same blankness. How could I be a god if I was... generic?" | |||
"But now that I have seen what is coming, now that there is a limit to the time afforded to us... well, it may sound cruel, Match, but the less there is of everything else, the more I matter. I intend to be the last good thing in this world. I will gather my chosen companions and ease as much suffering as I can before the end. There are emperors who would take on any shape to escape death. I am not one. I am true to myself. And so, Match, are you." | |||
He clapped me on the back with enormous gentleness. "Your only crime, my councilor, was that you denied me the chance to give you a gift. Come. Show me the place you favor, and tell me the measurements you require. I will build you a temple so you can worship without fear. And all I ask is that you remember me in your prayers." | |||
==Entry IX== | ==Entry IX== | ||